


(not) petty jealousy

by mikochin



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst(?), Canon Compliant, Drabble, M/M, Unrequited Love, hongbin centric, self-rationalization(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 12:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15049226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikochin/pseuds/mikochin
Summary: Hongbin might have loved him first, but he knew it didn't necessarily mean anything.





	(not) petty jealousy

Sometimes Hongbin felt it was unfair.

He knew Hakyeon the longest, way back when they’re still struggling kids trying their best to achieve their dreams. Hongbin shared everything with Hakyeon; his thoughts, worries, happiness, dreams, even lent Hakyeon the comfort of his own home—brought him to his house to eat proper home-cooked meal when they got the rare short breaks because Hakyeon would have stayed in the dorm all alone instead. Hongbin had been the one Hakyeon came to when he’s tired, a shoulder to lean on, cheering each other through the roughest time.

“We’re in this together,” Hakyeon had said, and they always were, even when they finally made their debut, still struggling somehow, until now they’re finally making it and enjoying the vast popularity plus every good thing that came with it.

Hongbin had loved Hakyeon first, spent most of the important moments in their lives together, and constantly been in each other’s side for nine years long. 

But Hongbin also knew that it didn’t work that way.

Because all he got was “Hongbin is like my real brother” that Hakyeon threw almost unsolicitedly on every possible occasion and he supposed Hakyeon had thought it would have made Hongbin felt special because he never called the others the same way—not even for his clear favorite Jaehwan. 

Hongbin might have felt special; he still remembered the blush that got over his ears when Hakyeon first proclaimed that in one magazine interview. Until he saw the same blush appeared on Hakyeon’s face, still from the same interview, at the part where he talked about his wonderful vacation with his lovely “best friend”—because of course Hakyeon would never admit to having a boyfriend out loud.

The worst thing was it would have been better for Hongbin’s self-esteem if the boyfriend was any other person than Lee Wongeun. Not only that guy had the same last name as him, Hongbin was remarkably surprised when he opened the dorm’s front door to a dimpled, tall, sweet-faced man asking about Cha Hakyeon with his deep husky voice. It was like Hakyeon was dating an upgraded version of Hongbin with gentler demeanor. And he was the better actor too, Hongbin added bitterly. 

“Are you also going somewhere today?” Hakyeon asked while putting on his sneakers. He was about to go to yet another vacation with Wongeun because it’s summer and Hongbin knew how much Hakyeon loved the sea.

“Nah.” Hongbin didn’t particularly like being fried under the scorching summer sun even though he missed playing basketball. Or stalking Hakyeon and his date if he was being desperate. “It’s been a while since I last played Overwatch with Chansik.”

“I swear you’re being so loud with him playing that game last night!”

“It was Battle Ground.” 

Hakyeon made a frustrated sound at him and then got up while reaching the door. “Take care of the dorm.” 

“Don’t fall into the sea, you’re not a good swimmer,” Hongbin returned. It was his way of saying take care without sounding too sappy. Also, he had checked the weather forecast and the wave was pretty strong these days.

“Don’t worry, Wongeun is,” Hakyeon answered with a smile so big Hongbin almost wanted to slam the door in his face.

What was he doing, seeing off his crush to go on a date with someone else? What a way to live, Lee Hongbin. 

Then again—as Hongbin sat in front of his computer, staring at the photo Hakyeon had forcefully pasted onto the monitor so he would not be so loud while playing—it could have been worse. He could have fallen for someone who hated him or someone he could only see once in a year, for example. Being considered a little brother wasn’t even that bad.

Hongbin took a deep breath and released it slowly. He had been in love with Hakyeon for nine long years. He would be over him eventually, someday. Probably.

For the meantime, as long as Hakyeon was still coming back to the room next door, he figured that it’s fine.

He’s fine.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i dont even know what i write i was in the middle of writing my thesis lol T_T


End file.
